Duvet
by Sintar
Summary: Sometimes reality can be cruel and harsh. Displayed is both pain and desire...something Kagome and Inuyasha shared. Very dark. Consider yourself warned.


**:Duvet:**

He never spoke a word. Only laid me gently against his coat in the soft grass and removed my clothing so gently from my body. Taking care not to tear or shred anything in his earnest haste to cure himself of his very personal desire. The moon hung low and large, revealing all our imperfections in what we were doing. The cool evening made it chillier then this should have been. Maybe under different circumstances it might have been warmer, hell it could have been snowing if only we had both felt the same way about it.

_And you don't seem to understand, A shame you seemed an honest man, and all the fears you hold so dear, Will turn to whisper in your ear, And you know what they say might hurt you, And you know that it means so much. And you don't even feel a thing._

He didn't even see me in his eyes. I wasn't her and I never would be. Yet he continued, making the sweetest love to me; eyes closed in deep concentration. Was it the lovemaking itself or was it the image he had to conjure up of her that caused such deep concentration? He didn't really have to try hard, I looked just like her. Maybe my eyes were a little darker and a little sadder. My hair shorter, yet still we had similar features. His skin against mine held a deep scar that would now destroy us forever more. What were we thinking? Here I was, letting him ravage my very soul, letting him pretend...pretend I was her, maybe I was pretending too. I so wanted to be her. I wanted him to love me the way he loved her. So in my foolishness I let him.

_I am falling, I am fading, I have lost it all._

I wanted to cry, the tears were there, they wanted to come but I fought myself hard. This was my doing. I was the one who let him. I couldn't blame him, I offered him myself in place of someone he could never have this way, yet yearned to. I let him take something someone else should have done, someone who really loved me. I let him have me in the purest form. He was careful and thoughtful in the act itself, caressing me and holding me as he entered and broke my seal, but neither one of us was careful with our own feelings. I watched as his graceful movements quickened, the pain subsided and I relaxed, our bodies moved in synch but not our hearts. The sweat of his body covered me, his eyes opened and roamed over my figure. They looked over my legs, my breasts, my arms, my neck, my lips...but never my eyes. He never once looked in my eyes. He knew if he did the illusion we had created would be lost. I never looked in his either, afraid of what I already knew wasn't there.

_And you don't seem the lying kind, A shame then I can read your mind, And all the things that I read there, Candle lit smile that we both share, and you know I don't mean to hurt you, But you know that it means so much, And you don't even feel a thing._

His hands gripped my hips tightly as he plunged deeper inside of me. The feeling was a mixture of pleasure and pain. Physically and mentally, I felt torn and used with each thrust. I attempted to feel what little I could from this, but the more I tried the less I felt. His breath was ragged and weary, he was getting closer. I laid there screaming in my mind for him to love me, for him to feel something. For him to forget someone who never loved him the way he deserved, never loved him the way I did. Unconditionally.

_I am falling, I am fading, I am drowning Help me to breathe I am hurting, I have lost it all I am losing, Help me to breathe._

We moved like a ravage storm near its end. We gave way to the physical, forgot all the reasons why this was happening, all the reasons why it was so wrong. Our instinctual bodies took over. I felt him stiffen as he warmed me inside with himself. He moaned aloud, her name upon his lips, never heard but I knew he had thought it, it screamed in my mind louder than if he really had said it. The tears fell from my eyes. My heart broken of my own accord. He never fell over me like he could have; he didn't hold me afterward like he should have. He merely slipped away from me, leaving me more lonely and cold then when we were together. I honestly didn't think that was possible...but there I was alone, looking up at the night sky as the stars twinkled and gleamed. They became fuzzy and blurred due to the tears covering my sight. I didn't make a sound. I didn't have to. I curled into his warm coat covering my shamed and shivering figure. He knew what he had done was wrong. He tied his haori tightly, I listened to the fabric stretch and tear, revealing the pain and anger he truly felt...foolish to think he could ever love me like he loved her.

_I am falling, I am fading, I have lost it all._

**_Inuyasha is (c) of Rumiko Takahashi_**

**_Duvet is a song by BOA_**


End file.
